Interesting Requirements Gathering

J just for laugh……….. 

Jumbo Bank, New York, USA   Requirement gathering session – Day 12   Client: "Our next requirement, this is something big, you know, we need an elephant…"  IT Vendor:  Mr. Richard but why don't you adjust with a buffalo, even it is big….   and black?"   C No Ramasamy, we need only elephant, let me explain our current process…………….." (client explains for an hour)  IT Vendor: Fine Richard, i understand ur requirement. But ours supports only buffalo…    C: Samy..our central bank regulations needs only elephant!  IT Vendor: Ok.. Let me see if i can customize"     Requirement taken : Bank wants a big black four legged animal, long tail, less hair. Having trunk is mandatory.  The same was documented, signed off and sent to offshore for development!       Offshore Development Centre, Chennai, 11.30pm   Design/Development – Base on requirement all features are supported in base product (as buffalo) , for trunk alone a separate customization is done.   Finally the customization is shown to client               client looks ....        .      .        .        .        .   . . . .                 ….  and faints !!

 Mind It .....!!!!!!!!!
 
 

 

मैं न जानु कि कौन हु मैं

मैं न जानु कि कौन हु मैं, लोग कहते है सबसे जुदा हु मैं,

मैने तो प्यार सबसे किया पर ना जाने कितनों ने मुझे धोखा दिया,

चलते - चलते कितने ही अच्छे मिले, जिन्हे बहुत प्यार दिया,

पर कुछ लोग समझ न सके, फिर भी मैने बस प्यार दिया,

दोस्तों की खुशी से खुशी हुई, तेरे गम से हम दुखी हैं,

तुम हंसो तो खुश हो जाऊंगा, तेरे आंख में नमी हो तो मनाऊंगा,

मेरे सपने बहुत बडे़ हैं पर अकेले हैं हम, अकेले है...

फिर भी चलता रहुंगा, ये दुनिया बदल जाए कितनी भी, पर मैं नहीं बदलुंगा,

जो बदल गये वो दोस्त थे मेरे, पर कोई नहीं पास है मेरे,

प्यार होता तो क्या बात होती, कोई तो होगी कहीं न कहीं,

शायद तुमसे अच्छी यहां कोई नहीं, न हीं इस दुनिया में तुम्हारे जैसी,

आसमान को देखा है मैने, मुझे जाना है वहा, जमीन पर चलना नही,

मुझे जाना है वहां, पता है टुट कर गिर जाऊंगा, फिर उठने का विश्वास है, मै अलग बनकर दिखलाऊंगा,

पता नही ये रास्ते ले जाये कहां, न जाने खत्म हो जाये किस पल कहां,

फिर भी आप सब के दिलों में जिन्दा रहुंगा, यादों में सबकी याद आता रहुंगा...

English Translation:

Mai na jaanu Ki Kaun Hu Mai, Log Kehte hai sabse Jhuda hu mai,

Maine To Pyar sabse Kiya, Par na jaane Kitno Ne dhoka diya,

Chalte-Chalte Kitne Hi Acche Mile, Jinhe bahut pyar Diya,

Par Kuch Log Samaj Na sake, Phir bhi Maine bas pyar kiya,

Dosto ki khusi se hi khusi hai, Tere gam se hum dukhi hai,

Tum haso to khush Ho jaaunga, Tere aankh me aansu ho to manaunga,

Mere sapne bahut bade hai, Par akele hai hum, akele hai,

Phir Bhi chalta Rahunga, Manjil ko paakar Rahunga,

Ye duniya badal jaaye kitni bhi, Par mai na badlunga,

Jo badal gayae wo Dost the mere, Par koi na paas Hai mere,

Pyar Hota to kya baat hoti, Koi to hogi Kahi na kahi,

Shayad Tumse acchi Yaha Koi nahi, Nahi is duniya me tumhare jaisi,

Aasmaan ko Dekha hai Maine, Mujhe jaana waha hai,

Zameen par chalna Nahi, Mujhe Jana waha hai,

Pata hai gir kar tut jaunga, Phir uthne ka vishvas hai, Mai alag bankar  dikhlaunga,

Pata nahi Ye raste Le jaaye kaha, Na jaane Khatm ho jaaye Kis pal kaha,

Phir bhi tum sab ke Dilo me Zinda Rahunga, Yaado Me sabki Yaad aata Rahunga..

How elephants are trained in the circus

How elephants are trained in the circus Dear All,   Please forward this to everyone you know so that people will stop patronizing circuses that employ such cruel and inhuman methods of training animals,  especially the baby animals. It made my skin crawl and eyes fill up. Here's wishing that these bastards get what they deserve for their unacceptable behaviour. Entertainment should not be at the expense of pain.    Circus Company «Ringling Bros.» Is largely due to his room with the elephant is known around the world. With this program, viewers always leave happy, the viewers happy, but only one has no idea about the process of learning these tricks animals. In our unhappy collection were collected photos, which was captured process of training and training young elephants and methods that were used by employees of the circus. These shots were filmed on amateur camera former employee of this company, which could no longer conceal this disgrace. 1.Kazhdy day after graduating from basic training begins full double-entry training, which lasts one to two hours. 2. Feet small elephants tied with ropes and link chains with another elephant. Since then, every movement and another manifestation of the natural behavior of the elephant will be severely suppressed by the trainer and his whip. 3. After a small elephant calves are taken from their mothers, their men tied them to the cold concrete floor for all four paws. Elephants make almost around the clock to sit on a leash and strictly forbidden to walk in the fresh air, and it is detrimental and extremely difficult for a young elephant. 4. Attempts to resist against pulling the ropes tight on the legs often end up painful punishment. Usually they give up after several months of unsuccessful attempts to escape. 5. The little elephant is tied to an adult elephant for joint walking in the barn. 6.Izvestneyshy "Center for elephants" in the territory belonging to the circus «Ringling Bros.», Is nothing but a camp where torturing elephants to instill in them the ability to show circus tricks. 7. These procedures make cry and suffer the elephant. 8. Although the methods for training animals for circus performances «Ringling Bros.» Already made public, nothing has been taken. 9.Elektroshok circus manager in the hand of Gary Jacobson. These photographs - a weighty proof that these walls are not only used electric shocks to protect ... 10. Principles of training, which uses a control for the most part consist of the use of electric shock, the demonstration of male power, coupled with the humiliation of ability to train. 11. Associated elephant forced to stand up to the desired position. 12.Krichaschih elephants forced to sit on the string, and then knocked down, calm electroshock. 13. Cruelty during training carefully kept secret, so no government agencies are not aware of it. 14. In this picture the elephant taught to lie down on command handler. 15. Circus Guide stubbornly declares that all tricks are developing natural abilities of elephants, as well as that used in training only a voice and encouraging, but these pictures prove that these words are far from the truth. 16. Experts believe that to raise a baby elephant in the circus is almost the same as raising a child in custody. 17. Gary Jacobson, with a hook to keep the elephant's trunk teaches to the top. 18. These poles with hooks work of the author of these pictures, who decided to tell the truth about his former job. 19. Deaf fence protects the area for dressirovok. 20.Protsess learning elephant standing on your head. 21. The results of the most severe training was that slonyata learned to sit, lie down, stand on hind legs and head, kick ball and other tricks. 22. Official principle Circus «Ringling Bros.» - "Training is the only method of inducement." 23. Is this reminiscent of motivation? 24. This circus has never admitted mistakes, but his manager said that the elephant shows itself when it gets ready to move to a higher level of socialization.

A Touching Poem

I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Eventhough the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet..

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
Ihear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon..

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "GOOD BOY " on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
BeforeI say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

Good Old Days... :)

Capsule for Success.......

 

A FAIRY TALE FROM A FAIRYLAND

Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The Moneylender, who was old, fat and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful daughter.

So he proposed a bargain.

He said he would forego the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal.

So the cunning moneylender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty moneybag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.

If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven. But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.

They were standing on a pebble-strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two Black pebbles and put them into the bag.

He then asked the girl to pick A pebble from the bag.

Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?

Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:

The girl should refuse to take a pebble. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking.

The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses the above logical answers.

What would you recommend to the Girl to do?

Well, here is what she did....

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

'Oh, how clumsy of me,' she said. 'But never mind, if you look into the Bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I Picked.'

Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit his Dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into An extremely advantageous one.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Most complex problems do have a solution.   It is only that we don't attempt to think.